Loud, flashy, obnoxious gaming laptops
If I walk into class and I see those stupid RGB-studded, jet engine-sounding, heavy-as-a-brick laptops with those ridiculous ‘Republic of Gamers’ logos, then I will make a mental note not to sit down next to you. Forgive me, but if you’re sporting any kind of flashy gaming laptop as your daily driver, then you’re basically inviting people to think not only that you’re – well, a gamer – but that you actually like showing off how big and tacky your laptop looks. I can basically smell the Doritos and gamer sweat on the keyboard.
Not all gaming laptops are bad, of course. Most variations allow you to control the speed of your fans, so it won’t sound like a rocket all the time. Some look as inconspicuous as your typical work laptop, like your Lenovo Legions and your higher-end Republic of Gamer laptops. It’s possible to be productive and to play video games in your downtime without annoying everyone around you.
In any case, not to stereotype or anything, but I rarely ever see people outside of engineering or computer science using thick gaming laptops. Based on experience, if you have a laptop like this, you’re probably studying something like Computer Science. No offence, but if your laptop is a 4 kg behemoth, dies in two minutes if it’s not plugged in, only accepts a 300-Watt power brick, and doubles as a self-defence tool, you’re probably not studying literature.
ThinkPad-esque laptops
Lenovo ThinkPads are iconic. There’s no two words about it – these laptops just work. You’re telling me you spent an entire summer researching engineering laptops only to just cave in and get a ThinkPad like everybody else? Gee, I wonder why.
ThinkPad owners have the equivalent of a Toyota Corolla as their laptop. They’re not too pricey, they’re durable, they’re mostly lightweight, and they get the job done. Obviously, there are other good laptops that aren’t ThinkPads but rather ThinkPad-esque, such as Dell Latitudes/Precisions, Dell XPS, and HP EliteBooks/ZBooks, all of which are also good options. However, I’d still go with the ThinkPad if given a choice.
Let’s put it this way: if your new tech job gives you a Dell, you’re working in a standard, run-of-the-mill place. If they give you a MacBook, you’d be in a start-up, meaning that if there’s no funding, then you’ll be laid off. But if they give you a ThinkPad, you’re part of a colossus with solid foundations, established years ago and still going strong.
Also, you like to talk about the fact that you run Arch Linux on your ThinkPad to whoever is willing to listen.
MacBooks/Apple laptops
People with a MacBook have the Starbucks menu memorised better than their own course material. There’s a reason you see practically zero Apple laptops in STEM, since a lot of the programs you’re required to run just aren’t compatible with macOS. I can see no advantage of owning an Apple laptop over something like a ThinkPad, especially in engineering, where you’ll need to run a bunch of software to get through your degree, other than maybe if you code in the Apple programming language Swift. There’s nothing bad about MacBooks hardware-wise – I’ll dispel the myth that you need a top-of-the-line graphics card for engineering right now, because some of my friends are doing CAD on integrated Intel HD 520s – it’s just so inconvenient to own because all of the programmes you use are tailored towards Windows.
If you own a MacBook Air, and especially if you own a MacBook that’s not an M2 model or above, you probably can’t focus too well, shown by the fact that you have about 70 tabs open at any given time, can’t finish your tasks most of the time, and prioritise aesthetics over practicality. I will concede that most people who have Macs also tend to have good fashion sense. It’s the ultimate performative laptop.
Though if you own a MacBook Pro, then you’re probably the top computer engineer at your company.
Chromebooks
The only reason you should ever use a Chromebook outside of mandatory Remindo exams at university is when you have a top-notch PC at home and only use a Chromebook to take notes when you’re on campus. As the name suggests, Chromebooks run Google’s Chrome OS, which takes a much lighter toll on the laptop, as it’s cloud-based and therefore focuses on web-based activities on the laptop. Granted, Chromebooks have great battery life, are amazing at what they’re meant to do, and are pretty cheap, as far as laptops go. If you’re given a choice between a Chromebook and a similarly-priced Windows laptop, then go for the Chromebook – cheap Windows laptops are terrible.
If you do make the unfortunate decision to use a Chromebook as your daily driver, then you probably stand firm in your (questionable) decisions, insisting that you can get all of your ‘work’ done on it (read: opening Gmail), and are defensive about said decisions.
Touchscreen laptops
As someone who despises fingerprints, especially on otherwise beautiful OLED screens, touchscreen laptops were never even in the picture. All the power to the people that have them, of course, but they’re just not really my thing, especially since the keyboard+mouse combo is simply irreplaceable. Touchscreen laptops also often sacrifice performance in favour of the touchscreen technology, which is a massive dealbreaker for me.
All in all, touchscreens are catered towards a specific type of people, and they are those who don’t care how their screens look. That is all.
University Laptop Project
So, if you are in the process of looking for a new laptop, and you’re scared of what your potential laptop might say about you, then check out the university’s own Laptop Project! Check out which model you’ll likely need based on your study and get it for a friendly price– you’re bound to make a solid choice. At the very least, you won’t be carrying around a gaming laptop.
