Stress is part of it
Every student experiences moments of stress. Sometimes it comes from a full schedule, sometimes from high expectations or comparing yourself to others. It is normal to feel low or insecure from time to time. Accepting that can make such periods shorter. You do not always have to be happy – expecting that only adds extra pressure.
By recognising that stress is part of life, you already take away some of its power. The point is not to avoid uncertainty, but to find ways of dealing with it more resiliently. Hope can help with that: it keeps you focused on possibilities, even when things feel difficult.
5 ways to stay hopeful
So how do you stay hopeful when things get tough? Here are five tips from Ernst Bohlmeijer to help you get through stressful times.
- Do not try to avoid the feeling
When you feel insecure or tense, the first instinct is often to push that feeling away. For example, by suppressing it or by distracting yourself with other means. This is called experiential avoidance and has been widely studied. In the short term, it may help for a moment, but in the long run, it works against you. The more people avoid unpleasant feelings – especially when it becomes a pattern – the greater the risk of developing more serious mental health problems later. - Allow yourself to feel it
The second tip follows naturally: allow unpleasant emotions. Do not run away from them. Easier said than done, of course, but the art is to create space by simply sitting with your feelings and letting them be. It can help to name to yourself what you are experiencing quietly. Practising this through meditation can also be useful, although it requires more patience and practice. You will notice that the feelings often pass more quickly than you expect – and that it brings relief. - Stop asking what is wrong with you
Many people who feel low ask themselves what is wrong with them. The instinct is to search for causes and solutions. Often, there are none, at least not quick fixes. And when you cannot find them, you end up feeling worse. It is perfectly normal to feel unhappy, insecure, confused or anxious. Most of the time, it passes by itself, especially if you allow it. There is nothing wrong with you. But you can get stuck if you often avoid, are constantly critical of yourself or do not live according to your values. If your feelings persist for a longer period, it can be wise to seek professional help to break those patterns. - Talk about it
When you are stressed or not feeling well, your first instinct may be to withdraw. Taking a night or a day for yourself is fine, but do not let it go on for too long. Reach out to others. Ask for support, and make clear that you are not looking for solutions. Simply being able to tell your story often works wonders. - Collect some personal, helpful thoughts
Which thoughts help you when things feel heavy? Short, friendly sentences you can repeat to yourself, or a brief pep talk. Write them down and practise them. They can help you break out of a negative groove. I once met a fellow academic in the bathroom just before he had to give a lecture. He was always very nervous. He told me he had learned to calm himself by repeating the thought: “It is not about me.” That simple sentence always helped him to feel more at ease.
With hope you are stronger
Hope does not make your problems disappear, but it helps you to deal with them and take small, meaningful steps. For students, that might mean asking a classmate for help, making time for rest or simply accepting that you do not have to do everything at once.
You are not on your own. Talk about your worries, share what you find difficult and be kind to yourself. Hope is not a magic solution, but an attitude you can practise. And the more you do, the stronger you become in challenging times.
